Lyte presents “Womxn at Lyte,” a series of conversations highlighting the voices of our womxn.
Q: As a child, what did you think you wanted to be? How do you think you came to that decision?
Koby Heramil: I wanted to be many things. And as a Virgo, I wrote in my diary line by line potential occupations and the pathways to studying them. It read something like, "1) professional clarinetist - get clarinet 2) international lawyer - go to law school 3) plastic surgeon - hold a pen steady." Very Type A shit. I knew at a young age that my purpose was to heal people and help people in some capacity. And I wanted a job that would give me the greatest sense of direct impact on someone else's life.
Q: What would your younger self be most surprised about how you live your life today?
Koby Heramil: Surprised that I have and am continuing to achieve all my life goals independently and interdependently with a life partner. My younger self would be surprised that I am sharing my life with someone who embraces my ambition and also promotes my self-healing. I have allowed myself to feel joy and prioritize thriving over just living.
Q: What have you accomplished recently that would have shocked you a year ago?
Koby Heramil: Overcoming my sense of fear in going after what it is I want. Whether that's starting a new project, asking for help—particularly on something I'm not knowledgeable of, advocating for the job and role I want, a salary, or my needs. I've accomplished so much in less than a year, all by believing in my self-worth and vulnerably asking for what I need.
Q: What lesson took you the longest to unlearn?
Koby Heramil: Ask for help. I am still learning how to do this. What helps me is going through these questions: What do I need help with currently? Who can help me? How can I help myself? I grew up in an environment where asking for help was not necessarily modeled. Asking for help or showing any vulnerability was considered a weakness. In my opinion, society has labeled womxn, especially Black womxn as strong. Black womxn can be sensitive, we’re allowed days off from saving the world. And though we are resilient, we are also human beings that do get exhausted, and we need help.
Q: What are you more afraid of, failure or success? And why?
Koby Heramil: Hopefully, my answer to this question will change maybe next month or a year from now. But today, I would say it is success that I am afraid of. With failure, I can pivot to something else. But with success, I would have to work and change constantly to progressively build momentum. And it's the change that sometimes is uncomfortable.
Q: What's non-negotiable in your life?
Koby Heramil: Food + Sleep. I come from a mixed cultural background being Black & Filipinx. My father raised my siblings and me to appreciate taking a siesta. I consider that my uninterrupted solo time; which is extremely important to me to wake up refreshed. A nap can help reset and recharge my battery. Food is my love language. My mind, body, and soul are interconnected, and food dictates so much of my mood. A lot of my events are centered around food. It's a connector, it can bring people together (similar to music). Food can also tell you the history of a place and time. I enjoy breaking bread with a group of people, it’s the connection that I love.
Q: What do you think is the hardest part of what you do for a living?
Koby Heramil: Shutting off at the end of the day. For the first time in my career, I love where and how I work. That is so very easily, for me—I can get lost in the creative prowess and lose track of the mindfulness to have a work-life balance. I try to give myself grace by telling myself, "Self…there are no good or bad decisions, just the extremes. So remember to keep this joyful and take a break!"
Q: What do you love about working at LYTE?
Koby Heramil: I can be my wholesome self. Someone who avidly speaks about self-care and for that to be respected and heard in the workplace is huge. At least for me, my personal and professional life is my normal day-to-day, I want to be the best version of myself constantly. To have colleagues and leaders who are promoting the same mindset is mind-blowing to me. It's a no-brainer for how we operate as a company…people looking out for one another…yes, please! Now can other companies follow suit?!
Q: How did this project come about?
Koby Heramil: Krystle and I were thinking about how we wanted to celebrate Womxn's History Month. We decided we wanted to have the recognition ongoing. It was important to highlight the womxn in our company, and hopefully see over time the progression in the industry, as it reflects our Northstar. We wanted to learn about the womxn and their experience, their journey, and who they are. So then came the questionnaire. Our intention was to create a safe and comfortable environment for womxn to talk with each other. What we didn’t want was for womxn to be a token in this. This process was by
Invitation, getting consent, sharing information, and creating a space where it was experimentation. The simplicity of learning from our womxn, allowed the stories to produce the next wave of ideation.
Q: What was the experience like for you?
Koby Heramil: In one word, transformational. I did not anticipate how this process would change me. As I sat there listening, I was absorbing their wisdom. It felt so good to see that positive-empowering energy hovering around in the room. That’s what womxn can do, that’s what womxn can create together, uplifting each other.
Q: What did you learn about womxn at LYTE?
Koby Heramil: The womxn at LYTE, and in general, feed into each other. We supply each other with good energy. We promote and uplift each other. The womxn at LYTE share similar traits in that we work hard, we consider other people, and we include others. This to me is transformational leadership, it’s also inclusive leadership.
Q: What title would you give this chapter in your life?
Koby Heramil: "Thriving Baby!"
Womxn at Lyte featuring Koby Heramil, Community Experience Manager at LYTE